


It's not an easy road, but now I'm not alone

by Sylvalum



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: A little, Celebrity Crush, Chaos Energy, Gen, Gender Issues, Silver is Awkward, Time Travel, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 17:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20177827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylvalum/pseuds/Sylvalum
Summary: A terrible illness in Silver's time causes him to do the unthinkable: use a Chaos emerald to go to the past, seeking the help of the legendary hero, Sonic the Hedgehog...But he's not the only one.





	It's not an easy road, but now I'm not alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tekina_fiction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tekina_fiction/gifts).

> **happy birthday tek!!! i love you so much & i hope you have an amazing birthday!!!! <3 **  
-ok so u asked for silver (and trans silver, i did my best, pls tell me if it's horrid), and this fic’s main character _is_ silver, but it’s like vaguely, imagine spiderverse w/ silver the hedgehog instead, except everything is just Complicated Time Travel Shit  
anyway hope u enjoy, Happy♪ヾ|*ﾟ∀ﾟ*|ﾉ” Birthday♪

Silver the Hedgehog grew up in a grassland village; a cluster of villas and facilities with a low-level shield, located next to a river. Not isolated exactly, but still remote.

Remote enough that they never expected the illness to reach them.

And when the Chaos fever really came to Silver’s village, they still tried to believe that it would go away on its own, and if not that then that it could still be easily cured. Recent discoveries in medicine had succeeded in eliminating all other diseases before this one without a fuss, just go to the Capital for medicine and it’s done, and nobody ever thought that Chaos would suddenly rear its ugly head like  _ this _ . So that’s why Silver thought, that of course no one would become so sick that they’d fear for their life. That he wouldn’t ever have to attend a funeral because of the fever, that he wouldn't ever find himself sitting at the bedside of his best friend’s little sibling, watching them struggle to breathe in their sleep while the anxiety tore up his insides.

No one ever expected this sickness. Mostly because - see, the thing the illness did was that it mutated the Chaos energy inside a person, turned it against them, withered them from inside, but  _ no one _ had manipulated any Chaos energy in  _ centuries! _

It’s forbidden by law to do so for good reason.

Not even Silver had tried it, not even though he had an actual Chaos emerald hidden away underneath his bed - Chaos emeralds you only wish on, or put in museums or vaults, you don’t  _ use  _ them. Look where using Chaos energy got that Ivo Robotnik fellow like 170 years ago or whatever!

Chaos energy is lethally dangerous.

It’s unpredictable and insidious and it twists your own feelings, and Silver is a criminal, just by cradling the emerald here in his shaking hands. He can  _ feel _ it, all the potential the emerald has, all the power, and it’s dizzying. There’s so much of it. If Silver thinks about it hard enough then he can feel it...  _ bend _ , can feel it shifting under his will-

_ Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous. _

He doesn’t know how to use it! He thinks he  _ could _ , as horrifying as that would be, and he just knows the emerald could make actual miracles happen, could help them, could cure the Chaos fever, but he  _ doesn’t know how _ .

Nobody has known since, since…

Since Robotnik’s days.

The emerald seems to glow brighter at Silver’s crazy, crazy thought, and he knows it’s  _ possible _ , then, that he could- could just drop 200 years into the past. He could go there! But he’s terrified, and - he’s still not terrified enough, clearly, because he’s going to do it, he’s  _ doing _ it. He’s pushing gently at the energy inside the Chaos emerald and closing his eyes as he wishes-

-and then, he’s not kneeling next to his bed anymore, because the air’s chilly and he can feel sunlight on his face and when he opens his eyes all he can think is,  _ oh fuck. _

Being about 200 years  _ in the past _ , is, after the initial almost a panic attack, very… anticlimactic. Yes, everyone wears all the old-timey clothes, and yes all the technology is pretty bad, and yes the United Federation is also somehow the largest country on Mobius and his home country hasn’t even been formed yet, but… other than that it’s still. Um. There’s a lot of greenery? And all the people look really alive and ordinary now, different from in the old photos, and it’s…

It’s just a couple centuries in the past. A tiny blip in the time stream. A few dozen pages in the history books. Not that much.

He can absolutely Deal With This.

Libraries were apparently pretty popular in the past too, because Silver easily finds one in the town he ended up in. Though very, very highly unfortunately, after staring for a moment at the slab of metal that’s supposed to be a  _ computer _ , oh dear, Silver realises that he’s going to have to ask for help. Oh boy wouldn’t it be sweet if he was less awkward!

Oh, fuck.

Just one drop more of anxiety he got, and now his whole tower of anxieties and fears is collapsing.

FUCK.

He curls up behind a really tall shelf of books and huddles, trying to remember how to breathe because  _ you can’t fail this just ‘cause you can’t work a computer or ask for some help, you can’t fail this, YOU CAN’T SILVER. _

It shouldn’t be him in the first place, but he supposes now it  _ is _ on him, he’s the one who’s gotta figure out a solution to the disease. No one else can time-travel, Silver’s pretty sure. No one else he’s ever heard of could do it back at home, because it’s  _ illegal _ , but in the past - someone  _ has _ to know more, yes? Didn’t that Robotnik guy have some arch nemesis? A dashing hero? Silver remembers looking at the picture in the history book and feeling awed, because S… S… the  _ person _ , the hero had been a hedgehog too, and he’d looked pretty cool.

-okay, he can breathe again.

Daydreaming about heroes calms you right down, got it.

Anyway, if he’s now in the era of that great hero who may perhaps possibly hopefully know more about Chaos energy, then there should be information about him. People should  _ know _ about him. There should be info on the internet, he  _ knows _ they’ve already invented the internet, if he can somehow make the computer work even though it doesn’t have anything Silver would call a screen…

...or he can ask someone.

It takes him a few minutes of gathering courage and sizing up a potential person to help him, but then he’s warily approaching a ferret who’s busy sorting books, carefully coming to stand right behind them. He clears his throat, and the ferret turns around with an automatic, “Anything I can help you with, sir?”

Silver tries not to wince. “Um. Could you please… help me find some information about uh… that… blue hero?”

“You mean Sonic the Hedgehog?” the ferret is definitely judging him. “Sure, you working on a school project?”

_ Why would I still be in school? How  _ long _ does school go on here? _ “Yeah…” Silver stalls. Then inspiration strikes him. “I’m actually supposed to interview him! So I… need his address.”

“Address?” the ferret frowns. “Dunno about that. He lives somewhere out in Mystic Ruins by Station Square as far as I know. He doesn’t really like reporters, though.”

“Oh, okay.” Silver feels almost weak in the knees with relief. “Thank you so much!”

“Eh, no problem.” the ferret waves him away and turns back to the books.

Silver sags against another shelf and buries his head in his hands, shaking with silent giggles. Alright. Mystic Ruins, near Station Square. He knows where to find him, and as long as he can find him, he’s got a chance. Easy, right - just time-travel, navigate the past, find someone who can help him, convince him to actually  _ help  _ him, then - well. First, it’s time to make some plans.

Figuring out the road signs isn’t that difficult: Silver somewhat enjoys puzzles. Turns out he’s actually nearby Station Square, which seems to be a bigger city than Emerald Town, where he currently is. He almost wants to take a detour just to look at a map of the world for a bit (it’d be interesting for sure) but then again, every minute he’s not on the move his anxiety gets worse, so maybe not.

(yeah, no, haha!  _ Yikes _ ) 

With psychokinesis he can float up high above the ground and take a better look at his surroundings, and in the distance he can see some tall buildings rising up. He zips off towards them, and when he’s come far enough to be flying above some roads and houses he drops down to the ground again.

He interprets some more road signs. The spelling is a bit weird, but he can understand it, and hey, he’s really close now! All he has to do is head through that really dense forest behind the city, and somewhere around there the Mystic Ruins should be.

_ (seriously though, what’s so ‘Mystic’ about those ruins? there’s ruins everywhere) _

With a bracing breath, Silver sets off into the jungle.

And after going through miles of jungle, he finds a yellow house on a cliff by the sea, on the other side of the forest.

Hesitantly, but with a great blossoming hope in his chest, Silver knocks on the door of the house. There’s sounds coming from inside, almost instantly, and Silver’s ears perk up, and he takes a polite if nerve-wracked step backwards just in time as the door then is opened by-

Himself.

They stare each other down.

Then  _ Other Him _ , who’s shorter than him (for some reason??), which Silver notices absently through the shock, says loudly, “We’ve got another one!”

That Other Him is definitely younger too, now that Silver’s unashamedly staring at him with wide eyes. And after his call, a fox quickly shows up in the doorway, and - and then the  _ blue hero _ himself (which actually doesn’t make things better), then a little silvery hedgehog kid, and then - another himself, maybe. Except - older. And wearing more clothes, and… and that kid is also, Silver is pretty sure, yet another  _ Him _ .

“Um,” Silver croaks, every coherent thought about manners, plans, strategies, or unspoken social rules blown right out of his head. 

“It’s alright!” the blue hero exclaims very quickly, holding up his hands. “Everything is completely normal, see, everything’s good,  _ good _ \- Venice, couldya go away with the kids for a sec-”

The Oldest Him beckons for the two younger Hims, and then they’re moving back inside the house, gone, bye bye.

Silver still feels very close to - something. A very strong but delayed reaction.

“Silver?” the blue hero says. “Do you need to sit down? I know it’s slightly weird, this, but I promise you’ve been through w _ aaa _ y weirder stuff before, even if you can’t remember.”

“I time-travelled,” he says, dumbly.

“That’s right!” the fox exclaims encouragingly.

“Aaaaand so did the others,” the hero adds, patiently cheerful. 

“Are they all... me?” Silver asks. He kind of wants to sit down and put his head in his hands and  _ not deal with this _ , he did  _ not  _ come here to deal with this, he’s got a mission; find out how to cure the Chaos fever...

“Well…” says the hero, slowly. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Silver says, and then his legs fold up and involuntarily he sits down in the grass in front of the hero’s porch, in front of the great and dashing hero himself and his friend. “I’m just gonna - take a minute…”

The hero doesn’t leave him be, though. No, instead the bastard has to come and sit next to him in the grass and say soothing nonsense words until Silver feels collected enough to get annoyed at him for it.

They all got herded into a room with a lot of furniture in it, and Silver sat down on a large ugly sofa and is now staring at the hero, who introduced himself as Sonic, while he starts to prepare to say something. The fox, Tails, is also looking nervous.

“This is gonna sound crazy,” Sonic begins, a little warning before he says, “but I’ve already done this once, with Silver.  _ One _ Silver.”

“What?” says Silver. It’s getting increasingly harder to breathe normally.

“This exact catastrophe,” Sonic says. “There’s a Chaos energy sickness in your futures, right? The Chaos fever? Yeah, so me and Tails already helped a Silver fix it in his future about two months ago.”

“Then why…?” Silver says, trailing off. He’s the only one asking questions. Maybe the others already did this song and dance before he arrived. “Why are we so many? Why is this happening? Why is it  _ me? _ ”

This can’t be good for the timeline.

It can’t possibly be according to the laws of nature to have several different versions of him from several different times here, this exact day, and - why is it  _ him _ ? Why are they all  _ him _ ? He’s not special!

Sonic shrugs and says, “I don’t know, Silver. It’s just always been you.”

Silver thinks, _ that can’t be. _

(But it’d be nice if it was, if this was all up to fate)

Tails adds, “And well, since there’s several of you Silvers here now,  _ again _ , all here because of the same issue… I can only assume that the illness is more deeply connected to Chaos energy than we previously thought, which I should probably have foreseen, darn it, but basically… I don’t know. I’m running some scans and such though, and I’ve also called a friend who might know more, he’ll be here soon to offer advice. We’ll get this figured out in no time!”

Sonic holds up a thumb, smiling reassuringly. Okay then.

“So what do we do now?” asks the oldest Silver, and Silver fights down the urge to jerk at his voice.

Sonic says, “I dunno. Mingle?”

When the oldest him goes into the kitchen, Silver follows. “We need nametags,” he says. “Or something. We can’t  _ all  _ call ourselves Silver.”

“Okay,” Silver agrees numbly. He doesn’t really care.

The oldest him rummages around until he finds a marker and a stack of paste-its, and he rips one out and writes  _ Venice, they/them _ on it, in tidy penmanship.

“Oh,” Silver says, now with mild horror. “I’m so sorry! I’ve been misgendering you in my head…”

“It’s fine, you didn’t know,” Venice says. “You go by  _ him _ , right?”

“Yes,” Silver says in a small voice.

Venice writes  _ he/him _ on another paste-it and turns to Silver. “So, nickname?”

“...I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. Just think on it for a while.” They attempt to slap the paste-it to the front of their sweater, but apparently paste-its had really shitty glue in the past, because it doesn’t stick. They give up with that and starts to look around for tape, probably, while Silver stands in misery by the counter and thinks about pronouns.

He pokes at the paste-it saying  _ he/him _ , and hesitates.

He glances at the other end of the kitchen. Venice is wearing a mint-green hoodie and a skirt and sneakers, and Silver can’t help but sneak glances down at his own boots and gloves and his utter lack of other clothes. Venice has their quills styled exactly like Silver’s - but younger him, the youngest one, had short, short quills, sticking up in all directions. Silver remembers looking like that, so, so vaguely, and mostly only that he hated how short it was because Robin’s quills were long, why couldn’t Silver also have long quills?

Even though the answer had turned out to be,  _ because I don’t want you to get your quills in the soup all the time, little one _ , it had still quietly annoyed him for years on end. Yes, sure, he could live with it, but it still was annoying.

...He supposes  _ he/him _ is okay for now. The most okay out of several confusing, new options-

If only he could come up with a nickname.

Venice comes closer, looks at the empty paste-it, and carefully asks, “...You  _ are _ okay with he/him, right?”

“I… I guess, yeah,” Silver manages. “It’s just…”

“...You realised there’s other options out there?”

Venice’s face is so patient and parently right then that with a jolt of fear Silver wonders whether this means he’ll get  _ kids _ in the future, which is quite terrifying to contemplate for 14-year-old him who doesn’t even know what a mortgage is and only came here to find a cure. 

“Things will get easier as you get older,” they say, at his expression of panic. “Or you know. You’ll at least become wiser with the years, get a bit smarter. Just hang in there.” They smile wryly.

“This feels so fucking  _ weird _ ,” Silver complains, a quiet protest against the universe. He’s awkward! He’s a fucking teenager, it’s justified! He’s like 14, he’ll get himself sorted out in time, he doesn’t need to - meet future selves of himself to talk about his existential crises, to compare himself to- Silver feels so young and stupid and inadequate and suddenly he can’t take it, standing next to Venice from the future who’s got their shit together, and he blurts out, “Gimme a minute,” and practically runs outside to hide on the patio and stare out over Sonic’s yard, unseeing, willing himself to calm down.

Oh, he hates this, he hates it so much.

_ Just focus on what you came here to do.  _

After a minute Silver goes back inside, anyway, just in time as Venice hands a nametag to approximately ten-years-old Silver, who decides to call himself  _ Silv. _ The youngest one Venice just asks if he’s okay with being called ‘kiddo’ and since he thinks it’s a funny word, sounds good, Venice writes his nametag for him and helps him attach it to his chest. Meanwhile, Silver starts to hope that he can just be ‘Silver’, because he’s had quite enough of introspection already, that’s  _ not _ why he came here and it’s rather confusing, actually, and when he states this intention to Venice, they say, “It’s your decision. If the name’s not taken, go ahead.”

So Silver remains Silver, to his relief and despair.

He’s feeling really restless and anxious and can’t sit still, and he would like to ask Sonic when his friend will arrive, focus on the mission, but he really doesn’t want to be a bother either, so sitting around and twiddling his thumbs while slowly slipping further and further into panic seems to be what he’ll be doing for the next hour or so,  _ you useless sack of potatoes. _

-Maybe there’s something he could do to  _ help _ , though.

...the thought is too tempting. Gingerly Silver navigates around the house, and he spots Silv and Kiddo watching TV together, calmly like nothing is wrong when actually everything is, and Tails doing something down in the workshop, Venice hanging out in the kitchen again (who he avoids because Venice will look at him and see a  _ child _ , look at him far too knowingly), and finally, Silver finds Sonic up on the roof. He climbs a ladder from the second floor up through a hatch, and then he’s poking his head out and looking out over the roof, and there’s the hero. Seemingly napping.

Silver feels even more anxious just  _ looking _ at him - what if he fell off the roof in his sleep? Gosh.

He carefully, slowly moves closer, fretting over how on Mobius to wake him - and then Sonic turns over by himself and smiles. “Hey buddy. Didya need anything?”

Silver manages to say, “Is there - uh, anything I could do to help? To find out why the Chaos fever made us all come here today and, and why it’s happening so much?”

“Not really,” Sonic says, and Silver’s heart falls. “Or, wait, actually - Tails might want to scan you and your fellow Silvers, to find out more about how this happened so it won’t happen a third time or something, so you could head on down to the workshop and check with him.”

“Oh, okay…”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Sonic asks, quickly, everything he does is so  _ quickly, _ and he smiles, blindingly. The sun is right behind him framing him like a halo and he looks majestic, better than his photos in the books, like a  _ legend _ , and Silver has to find an answer to his question, of course, yes, and he’s scrambling for words.

“Sure,” he says, way quieter than intended, and soon he’s going to start to blush and if he does  _ that _ then there’s no return, because if your fur’s white then just one blush is a horrible full-body experience, visible to everything and everyone within a one-mile radius, and he can’t have that right now fuck fuck.

They head downstairs, three floors down, and interrupt Tails as he’s soldering something.

Silver kinda wants to apologise for that, but he doesn’t get the chance to, Sonic simply charges ahead anyway. And Tails seems really pleased to see him, and it’s all okay apparently, and then Tails turns to ask Silver, “Would you be okay with me running some tests on you? It’d only take a minute.”

“Okay,” Silver agrees, happy to finally be getting somewhere.

He’d do a great many things to save his village, a few tests is nothing.

Tails sets up some equipment, makes Silver sit in a chair, then looks at his weird ancient screen for a moment and makes humming noises to himself. Silver just tries not to fidget and waits.

“Your results are very similar to our previous Silver,” Tails then mutters. “Maybe I oughta run tests on  _ all  _ of you.”

“I’ll go fetch ‘em,” Sonic says and runs off.

Silver clasps his hands in an effort to not move. “Is it bad or good?” he tries asking.

“Uh… neutral, I’d say…” Tails trails off, still intently staring at the screen. “You aren’t sick yourself, but there’s still… Hmm. I honestly don’t know… Wait ‘till Knuckles gets here…”

Silver then gets to watch as Tails tests the same things on Silv, Kiddo and Venice and mutters a lot to himself, tapping at his screen. Shouldn’t he be more… certain about the results? Isn’t he a scientist or something? Silver chews his lip and tries very, very hard to be patient.

“Eh,” Sonic says, coming up and sitting down next to Silver. “I know it looks like he’s not getting anywhere, but genius takes time, y’know. And soon Knuckles will be here! We’ll get this all sorted out in no time, and then you can go back home and cure the fever, hopefully for good this time.”

Silver nods listlessly.

Sonic pats his shoulder. “I know it’s hard, but tomorrow already Knuckles will get here from Angel Island, and then we’ll get this fixed, so just… wait for a bit, okay?”

“Okay,” Silver agrees.  _ Tomorrow _ . He can deal with that, even if he can’t deal with much else here. He turns to look at Sonic and even manages to smile a tiny, thin smile at him, and Sonic the legendary hero grins back.

“Yeah? You good? Oh, wait, I know what we’ve gotta do  _ now _ -” Sonic jumps up, abruptly, and claps his hands. “Hey, Silvers and Tails, who wants marshmallows?”

“ _ Why _ did they stop producing these?” Venice exclaims in affront, spearing as many marshmallows as they can fit on a stick.

“Yeah I dunno,” Sonic answers. “We never find out. Every time we treat a time-traveller to some marshmallows they’re like ‘this is the best snack in history’, say they’ve never had it before, and  _ then _ …”

“They leave and never return,” Tails says. “So we never actually find out why they stop producing them. It’s a great mystery.”

Silver is trying to help Kiddo spear his marshmallows, valiantly ignoring how weird it feels to look at him. He’s so tiny. Silver remembers wearing the shoes he’s wearing, and the gloves, and the quillstyle. He remembers how he used to hide under the table when he was that small, and how he never could reach anything on the shelves with his hands, which sure was a strong motive for him getting better at his psychokinesis. He even gets a flash of memory of the horribly sugary cereal he always had for breakfast when he was six, oh god.

Kiddo, however, only has eyes for the marshmallows.

Smart choice.

They’re sitting outside the heroes’ house, gathered around a small grill. Soon they’ll go to sleep, and when Silver wakes up it’ll be a new day, the day Sonic said his friend would arrive to help them (the thought of that is the only thing that’s getting Silver through this). There’s a soft little breeze and the sky is slowly darkening, and Kiddo cheers happily when he finally gets to start toasting his marshmallows, sharing every other Silver’s positive opinion of marshmallows, and for that little moment, Silver feels content.

Not especially calm or unafraid or ready to settle down, but happy for now.

-and then there’s a horrible light from the sky and yet  _ another fucking Silver _ comes literally shooting out of the sky,  _ what what, _ landing right next to the grill and almost stumbling into it, flailing wildly. Sonic is the first one up to help him - them - but Silver scrambles up too, heart racing, and so does Kiddo.

“Whoa,” says the New Silver, whirling around and staring at them. “What - I - no  _ what _ , how are there…?”

“Several of you?” Sonic guesses, again putting on a calm and cheerfully reassuring face. “It’s a long story, so why don’t you… sit down.”

Silver wonders if he should say something,  _ do _ something but really, Venice is right there, if anyone needs an expert on Silver-ish advice they can go to them, Silver isn’t responsible here - and also Silver is too busy staring at the new guy, he just can’t help himself, because the new person’s quills are dyed  _ green _ . Not all of them, and it’s a nice turquoise shade, but - dyed quills!  _ Dyed quills! _

Silver had somehow not considered the idea before but  _ now _ he sure is doing it.

Kiddo tugs at his hand, and after a second of strong indecision Silver crouches down, and Kiddo whispers to him, “Their quills look really cool.”

Oh.

“They do,” Silver agrees, and feels - almost fond of Kiddo for a split-second there.

Maybe it’s not the worst thing ever to spend some time with a six-year-old version of himself, as a side-effect of trying to save his village. Silver doesn’t  _ have _ to only remember his own past when he looks at Kiddo, agonise and fret over it - Kiddo might not even grow up to be Silver as he is now. That’s okay. In fact, the less he looks at Kiddo as if he’s only his past, thinks of him instead as another timeline’s Silver, the better Silver feels.

So, Silver doesn’t have to look at that New Silver and think that he’ll  _ have _ to grow up to dye his quills either. No pressure.

(it’d be cool though)

Sonic’s started explaining the situation to the New Silver, who’s asking a lot of questions. Silver lingers indecisively by their side, but then - he withdraws, sits down with Kiddo, and returns to his marshmallows. The hero’s handling it. Silver can - relax, maybe, let go of some of that anxiety for the evening and just… exist. Just for a minute.

New Silver decides to call themself Turquoise, after their chosen quillstyle presumably. They’re older than Silver but younger than Venice and Silver really doesn’t want to ask exactly how old, except he  _ does _ , he both doesn’t and does want to know everything about what his future might look like - it’s fascinating, it’s a bit scary, and Silver really should  _ not _ have access to this info. It’s cheating at life. Maybe they’re not his timeline, or maybe they are, but still Silver could be affecting the timeline(s) badly just by being here and interacting with them and seeing their choices and  _ what if it’s making the Chaos energy issues worse _ what if time and Chaos energy are connected like that, what if the fever gets worse what if this is what killed Robotnik in 30 years--

Sonic finds him before he can hide in the bathroom.

Having the greatest hero of the century, an actual  _ legend _ , seeing him when he’s about 30 seconds from having another panic attack isn’t great for Silver’s self-esteem, and  _ especially not _ when Sonic then says, “Oh hey, buddy, you’re feeling really stressed today, huh?”

_ No dipshit, this is like a spa day to me, what’s it look like, _ and Silver snaps, “Go bother someone else.”  _ I’m the worst edition of Silver currently in the house! _

“Sorry, sorry!” Sonic says, instead of something considerate and thoughtful like ‘okay I’ll leave you alone’. “I didn’t mean to offend you, I just meant - it’s been a crazy day.”

Silver sags against the wall, fight leaving him. “Yeah.”

“I’ve never met a Silver as anxious as you before,” Sonic then says, and Silver narrows his eyes, but Sonic quickly carries on, “It’s okay, this is freaking me ‘n Tails out, too, but uh… I was just wondering if, maybe I could help with whatever’s troubling you? If you told me what’s stressing you out-”

“ _ Really _ ?” Silver snaps. “Not a single Silver before has ever been worried about destroying the timeline?”

His eyes widen. “That’s a possibility?”

“I don’t know!” Silver throws up his hands, berating himself for never listening on physics lessons. “There’s several mes here! Several of  _ one person _ , from different times, possibly different timelines by now, and we all time-travelled to this exact day to solve the exact same issue!” Silver slides down to sit on the floor and buries his head in his hands. “I’m just…”

Sonic sits down next to him, and a distant and useless part of Silver’s brain notes that he smells nice. “I think Chaos energy doesn’t fuck with timelines on  _ purpose _ ,” Sonic says. “I… don’t know anything about this, to be honest with you, but if nothing freaky has happened yet… and you all have been here for hours already… I think we’ll be fine. And I  _ also _ think you’re really smart. I’ve never even  _ thought _ about whether time-travel could have that big consequences… or well, not since Soleanna. Guess I thought that once we stopped Solaris… well, that’s another story for another time. But-”

Sonic takes a deep breath, and Silver looks at him. “You’re very brave,” Sonic says, “to come here on your own even though you’re scared.”

Silver says, “Not as brave as Kiddo, he’s - he’s like six. He’s so young. He shouldn’t be doing this...”

“I know.” Sonic sighs. “But that doesn’t mean you aren’t brave, too. And you’re also pretty young, aren’t ya?”

Silver huffs. “I know for a fact you’re only 15 at this point, so  _ there _ . We’re basically the same age.”

“Huh.” Sonic cocks his head. “Well, then I think I’m actually auther- auth _ orised _ to say that you’re very brave and smart. Boom.”

Silver’s actually feeling a lot better now, talking to him, he realises. Sure, it’s really freaky to be 200 years in the past, but if it gives him the opportunity to talk  _ Sonic the Hedgehog _ ? It could be worse.

Sonic’s also very helpful and encouraging and cute in person, which the history books never properly expressed. How dumb. And the pictures really did not do his smiles justice, either.

“Yeah, fine,” Silver says, and Sonic smirks at him. Ah shit. “Shouldn’t we go to sleep or something?” Silver quickly says. “Do you even have guest bedrooms? Oh, no, and I’m so sorry for the bother, also, and thanks so much for the food and the help and-”

“Whoa, calm down!” Sonic says. “You’re very welcome, and yeah, we do have a few guest bedrooms.” Sonic smiles. “I’ll find you one, c’mon up.”

Sonic gives Silver a hand, and he allows himself to be pulled to his feet.

There’s succulents on the windowsill, small and pastel-coloured. The bed has a wooden frame and soft sheets and two fluffy pillows, and Silver tosses and turns, lies on his side for minutes just staring at the small plants outlined by moonlight in his window. His friend used to have succulents, before redecorating.

His heart still beats too fast.

He keeps thinking. He can’t sleep. It’ll just get worse the longer he stays here without distractions, and he gets out of bed, goes out into the corridor, aimless. He could get a glass of water, or go stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom, or-

He goes up to the roof.

There’s no one there, and the night stretches out endlessly in front of him, the house an island in a dark sea. He knows there’s a real ocean down there, he can even hear it and see a little moonlight reflect off of the surface, but he ignores it as best as he can and lies down on the roof on his back and looks up into the sky.

He can see a few stars, small white dots in the black. The same stars that were there when Silver grew up, the same stars as in the future, the same stars as now, here in the past.

What’s one hedgehog compared to the stars? 

-the thought is almost reassuring. A few Silvers can’t be enough to destroy the whole timeline, can they? No matter what they do, time is relentless, eternal, more powerful than any hedgehog could ever be. It’s bigger than him; he can barely touch it, barely move it - there’s no way he could break it, right? And time doesn’t care about his insecurities.

All he has to worry about is the illness back at home. That's all, that’s  _ it. _

He closes his eyes and remembers Sonic’s expression as he called him  _ brave _ , and even if Silver doesn’t really believe in it it’s comforting, recalling his voice as he said it. Makes him feel strangely giddy, if he thinks about it too much.

(what was it, daydreaming about dashing heroes calms you down, no?)

Tomorrow they’ll get this sorted out, and - maybe he’ll go back to bed now, after all. Yeah.

He wakes up because someone’s knocking on the door, rolls over sleepily, then realises with a fresh stab of anxiety where and  _ when  _ he is, and immediately sits upright in bed, wide awake in a second. He scrubs a hand over his face and hears Venice say from behind the door, “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Silver answers, and pulls on his gloves.

Venice comes in, today wearing a red dress which probably has to be borrowed. “There’s breakfast downstairs!” they say cheerfully. “And that person Sonic said could help with figuring out the Chaos fever? He’s here.”

“Oh,” Silver says.  _ Oh _ , yes. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay then,” Venice says, and leaves.

Silver gets up and pulls on his boots, goes to the bathroom, then goes downstairs. He finds the Silvers gathered in the living room with Sonic and Tails and a red echidna, eating companionably together. Sonic and Kiddo both wave at Silver when he enters, and Silver sits down with Kiddo - but then Sonic comes over to sit with them anyway, holding a bread basket.

“Hi Silver! Have a croissant.”

Silver takes a croissant. “Thank you. Um, is that your friend…?”

“Yep. That’s Knuckles, he’s the guardian of the Master Emerald.”

“Oh,” Silver says. The Master Emerald, right. “So he’ll have a clue on why the disease broke out in all our timelines, for a second time apparently, despite a Silver already ‘fixing it’?”

“And he can help us?” Kiddo asks, wide yellow eyes trained on Sonic’s face. “He can give us medicine?”

“I hope so,” Sonic says, smiling, and pats Kiddo on the shoulder before getting up and going over to talk with Turquoise. They’re going to find a solution! Cheered up by this thought, Silver devours his breakfast as fast as he can.

Eventually breakfast seems to be over, and Knuckles stands up and says, “Alright everyone, I’m Knuckles, last guardian of the Master Emerald. Me, Tails and Venice have been discussing this Chaos fever a little this morning, and I’ve got a theory.”

“First of all,” Tails says, “It’s not  _ time _ or timelines that are the problem here, it’s pretty much all-”

“-problems relating to Chaos energy, yes,” Knuckles says.

“So we don’t have to worry about the timestream?” Turquoise asks. “We’re not ruining it by - y’know, being here all together at once? Splitting it into several different timelines?”

“I don’t think the timestream has got much to do with the fever,” Silver feels compelled to say. “Time isn’t that… easy to corrupt.”

“Yeah, Silver’s right,” Knuckles says, and Silver shrinks in his seat. “Time isn’t that breakable. You’re maybe creating a couple of different timelines, but that happens all the time. Anyway-” he holds up a hand. “The solution seems to be really simple, but since Tails here isn’t convinced it’ll solve  _ everything _ -”

“-because it won’t,” Tails informs them.

“Yes, because of that, Sonic and I will teach you all how to heal people by manipulating the Chaos energy inside their body. Any questions?”

“What’s ‘the solution’?” Silver asks, impatient.

“Oh, right,” Knuckles says. “Well, the reason the Chaos fever broke out in the first place, is because no one’s been manipulating Chaos energy  _ enough _ in your future.”

_ What? _

The Silvers are all silent, for good reason. Knuckles’ ‘ _ solution _ ’ is not only illegal, it’s - it’s-

“You’re saying Chaos energy _ should _ be manipulated?” Silv asks, as disbelieving as any of them.

“Well, duh,” Sonic says, and Knuckles glares at him.

“Yes,” Knuckles then says. “Chaos energy exists to be used. For thousands of years my ancestors have been doing it, keeping the Chaos energy from stagnating and causing problems by using the emeralds. Just some gentle manipulating and consulting with the Master Emerald, all helping to keep the Chaos energy mutations away. And today, Sonic, I and our friends are doing the same. But in the  _ future _ ,” Knuckles says with obvious disapproval, “Venice tells me that  _ no one’ _ s doing it. That you all in all your timelines had the brilliant idea to call it illegal. That you all just keep on avoiding Chaos energy, just letting it stagnate and grow out of shape…”

“Because it’s dangerous!” Silv exclaims.

Silver frowns.

“It’s not  _ dangerous _ ,” Knuckles says, exasperated. “Well. Overuse could be dangerous, but there’s no risk of  _ that _ happening to you, is there? Using too little Chaos energy is  _ just as bad _ as using too much.”

The room feels very quiet after his little speech.

The worst thing is how much sense Knuckles’ theory actually makes.

“How,” Silver asks, clears his throat, “How do we fix that?”

“By using more Chaos energy,” Knuckles says with utmost patience. “Just one person should be enough to stave it off, as long as there’s  _ always someone _ around to do it. In every timeline.”

“You want  _ us _ to do it?” Turquoise asks.

“Is there anyone else who could?” Sonic asks right back, but he does it gently.

Silver chews on the inside of his cheek and turns the thought, the thoughts over in his head.

He’s not that special, really. He’s just a teenager, from some little village nowhere special, who’s questioning his gender and hates milk and thinks superheroes are pretty cool, and… and he can manipulate Chaos energy. It’s easy. And it’s  _ scary _ . And he doesn’t  _ have _ to be chosen for this, it doesn’t have to be fate, and - and he’s not alone, Silv and Venice and Kiddo and Turquoise are all in for the same thing, too. It doesn’t even have to be  _ fate _ that he’s here; he’s just a stubborn little believer in every timeline, deciding to do this because who else?

-and really, if his village is suffering then obviously Silver will do all he can to save it.

There’s no question, actually. Of course he’ll do it.

And when Silver realises this and looks up, he sees Venice and Silv look back at him with the exact same expression as he’s wearing.

Of course  _ they’ll _ do it.

The plan is that Sonic and Knuckles will teach them all more about manipulating Chaos energy, so that they can all go back to their respective timelines and do some of that, and that Sonic will also teach them how to heal people by manipulating Chaos energy, in case they’ll have to cure everyone separately, instead of the illness just sorting itself out as soon as Silver gets to work keeping an eye on it.

But no matter how certain Silver is that this is the right and only way, he can’t escape the anxiety that he’ll fuck it up.

Sonic demonstrates the technique on a wilting flower, tells them to  _ really _ focus their Chaos sense on it as he’s doing his thing, and then he just - makes the flower grow taller, greener, healthier, grow more leaves. Just like that.

And it’s not so bad when they themselves then attempt it on some more wildflowers; they all manage it just fine.

-it’s just that then Sonic wants them to try it on a mobian.

“Silv, Turquoise, Venice - you three go do this with Knux,” Sonic tells them cheerfully. “And Silver, Kiddo - you two with me. Let’s get this show on the road!”

“This feels very unsafe,” Silver says, even as the others go over to Knuckles. They’re hanging out right next to Sonic and Tails’ house, practicing on the grass, and why can’t they find a bug or critter or something? Something  _ else _ than Sonic?

“Nah, don’t worry,” Sonic says, infuriatingly unconcerned. “It’s really instinctive, this stuff, it’s better to just go for it, so… Manipulate my Chaos energy, baby,” Sonic tells Silver, striking a pose and winking at him.

“This is not making me feel better!” Silver exclaims, high-pitched and nervous and terrified.

“Not so loud,” Kiddo complains, sitting down in the grass to watch them.

Silver wants to flee.

Sonic says, seriously, “Look, Silver, I trust you. I know you can do it, you’re a natural at this kinda thing. You managed time-travel, didn’t ya?”

“I guess,” Silver says.

“Yes!” Sonic agrees. “I know you won’t hurt me. All I want you to do is push a little at my Chaos energy, nothing else. Just so we’ll know you’ve got it. Please?”

Silver’s mouth flattens to a thin line as he grinds his teeth.

This or nothing. _ It’s this or no other way. _

“Alright, fine,” he says, catching another one of Sonic’s vibrant smiles before he closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath in, out, in out - and there’s Sonic, glowing bright blue with an abundance of Chaos energy. Energy that Silver could easily move, or bend, or steal.

And he focuses hard on only,  _ only _ giving it a tiny little shove.

“Hey!” Sonic exclaims, and Silver’s eyes fly open in fear. “Great job!” Sonic adds, quickly. “You did great Silver, buddy, I’m so proud of you.”

_ Oh thank Solaris _ . Silver sits down in the grass, drags a shaky hand through his quills, and smiles.

Two days is probably not enough time to decide on whether he likes a time period or not, but nevertheless, Silver decides he really likes Sonic’s time, in the end. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles are great - sure he has read about them before, but actually talking to them is completely different. They’re all very helpful and kind.

-still, Silver knows his anxiety won’t completely stop until he’s back in his own time.

Sonic, Knuckles and Tails gave them all the knowledge they needed, taught them a few things about Chaos energy, and now it’s finally time to go get that Chaos fever fixed.

They’re still gathered out on the lawn, and Turquoise is the first to go, disappearing in a flash of light.

Apparently all five of them brought a different emerald with them, which kind of makes sense, when you think about timelines and - well, Silver likes puzzles. Maybe he’ll even start to enjoy this somehow, in the future.

Before Venice leaves though, they give Kiddo and Silv hugs, then comes over to Silver and says somberly, “What I said earlier? About things getting easier? They  _ do _ , actually.” They place a hand on Silver’s shoulder and gives him a serious look. “Things will be confusing, and people can be really shitty to you, just ignore them because they aren’t worth your time - but in the end it’ll all be worth it, I  _ promise _ you.” they smile at him, gently. “You’ll have people who love you, and you’re not alone, okay? You’re not alone.”

“Okay.” Silver blinks hard and clears his throat. “I - I’ll remember that. Good luck.”

Venice hugs him too, then uses their own emerald - and then they’re gone.

Silver takes out his own emerald, that he’s quietly kept tucked away until now. It’s still both soothing and addictive to cradle it in his hands, and it’ll be an easy step to go back to the future, but then… then what’s next? Cure the illness, and then he’ll have to keep working, and working, and…

He’ll see when it comes.

“And another goodbye,” Sonic says quietly, coming forward. This time his smile looks wry and almost sad. “It’s been nice to have you here, Silver.”

“Thanks for everything,” Silver replies, and he can never express it properly but- “Thank you all so much, thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Sonic says, then takes a step forward and just - kisses Silver’s cheek,  _ whoa _ . “Good luck, Silver,” he murmurs when he steps back, and fucketty fuck, Silver’s blushing.

“Okay,” he says, only a bit high-pitched, “You too.”

Sonic grins at him, stepping back, and Silver flushes some more. Then he waves goodbye to Kiddo and Silv and Tails and Knuckles, holds the Chaos emerald up high, closes his eyes, and makes a wish.

** **

**Ten years later**

Silver is sitting on the steps of the altar of the Master Emerald at the outskirts of town, enjoying their breakfast in the sunshine, when the child approaches them.

It’s a hedgehog kid, with pale lilac fur and big green eyes, and they’re carrying a red backpack. They look a bit nervous, shifting their weight from foot to foot anxiously, but that’s not unusual. Moving the Master Emerald closer to a town has in no way made it any less mystical or awe-inspiring, Silver has learnt.

“Hello,” Silver says to the kid, setting down their coffee mug. “Can I help you with anything?”

“You’re the  _ guardian _ ,” the kid says.

“Yep,” Silver replies.

“You guard Chaos emeralds.”

“Well, I suppose so,” Silver answers, even though technically they’re  _ only _ guarding the Master Emerald - keeping a Chaos emerald on their person at all times isn’t a duty, it’s a choice.

The kid climbs a few steps up to Silver and leans in to whisper to them, “Can you teach me? I know I’m already really fast, but I have this emerald and - and I can  _ feel _ it. And mama says she got this emerald from her grandma’s grandma, and that it can - can make  _ miracles  _ happen!”

“Is that so?” Silver says, taken aback - the kid is only six or so, as far as they can tell, but they’re already seeking own adventures?

“Yeah,” the kid says, and sits down next to Silver, clinging to their sleeve. “And mama says you know everything there is to know about emeralds and Chaos -  _ Chaos energy _ , so can you teach me? Pretty pretty please?”

“I don’t think anyone has ever known  _ everything _ about Chaos energy,” Silver says modestly. “Does your mama know you’re here?”

“I told her I was going,” the kid says.

“And you really, really wanna learn?”

“Yes!” the kid exclaims.

“Hmm,” Silver says, smiling despite themself. “Guess I better teach you, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> uhh title from don't be so hard on yourself by jess glynne  
and again, tek, happy bday <3


End file.
